What is Cultivated Living?

Cultivated Living is my approach to creating a unique life full of passion and meaning. Rarely do people automatically know what kind of life they want and how to create it. We live, we learn, and we grow. We try things on for size to discover what we want.

Creating a life that truly suits you doesn’t happen immediately, or even on the second try. At least it hasn’t for me! It requires adjusting, tweaking, refining – a.k.a. cultivating – to reach that kind of fit, and expecting it to be otherwise reduces the likelihood of reaching it.

cul·ti·vate
Pronunciation: ˈkəl-tə-ˌvāt
to foster the growth of <cultivate vegetables>
to improve by study,  labor, or care : refine <cultivate the mind>
to further, encourage <cultivate the arts>

In our fast paced, on-demand, instant gratification world, we often lose sight of the need to take a long term view and to give things time to grow and develop, but it’s a core tenet of cultivated living.

Ultimately, it’s an iterative process that never really ends. It involves learning through questioning, doing things to apply that learning in your life, and, in turn, nurturing the life you’ve worked to create.

To Improve by Study

Study involves a back and forth, an ongoing dialogue, whether explicit or implicit. Often a single illuminating question can put you on the road to change, but it’s shouldn’t end there.

Law professors use rigorous questioning to force their students to explain and apply an opinion (or legal principle) and ultimately brining that line of reasoning to it’s logical conclusion, which is typically a conclusion that’s inconsistent with the student’s original opinion. The technique is called the Socratic method, and it’s part of what makes the first year of law school so challenging. Being confronted by the contradictions in your seemingly logical opinions in front of a room full of 100 of your new classmates isn’t for the faint of heart.

I promise not to subject you to that, but continual questioning is a time-honored way of learning what you believe because it pushes you to evaluate the accuracy of your beliefs and sheds light on the contradictions in your life. Those contradictions – between your convictions and the choices you make – are the areas in your life that are ripest for change.

To Improve by Labor

Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do. –  Goethe

Hard work, the continued effort, is only part of the story. Change doesn’t happen without labor – the volitional act of doing something. You can’t know if you will enjoy something without doing it. This involves making a start, again and again, and applying the fruits of your questioning by doing something differently in your life, getting off the couch and out of your comfort zone to either act on or discover what you love.

It sounds obvious, but it’s not. This is the iterative approach at work. It’s easier to adjust the path of an object in motion that it is to get an object moving from a dead stop. Most people get discouraged and stop when they don’t get it right the first time.

Thinking of personal growth as a long term, daily endeavor allows me to maintain perspective on life in the present. I don’t feel like I need to have all the answers at once. Taking a risk or choosing a path and failing is simply part of the process. It’s one part of a growing, changing life.

Things worth doing seldom come easily, but small, incremental effort over time can yield amazing results.

To Improve with Care

Not only do we need to do the things we truly, deeply care about, but we also need to protect the process of building the life we want to live. This growth isn’t linear. It’s filled with stops and starts and requires nurturing to bring it into being.

You have to take care of your goals and dreams like you would take care of a loved one – protect them, feed them, and nurture them. No one else cares about them nearly as much as you do.

So, roll up your sleeves, and dig in…

I don’t profess to have all the answers, but I’m committed to the process. It’s the only effective way I know to create a life consistent with my convictions.

Cultivating your life only requires a commitment to questioning and learning, an open mind, and the courage to act.

Perfection is not expected or desired.

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